California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
NFL suspends Jaxson Dart for introducing Trump instead of beating his wife like a good NFL player 
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States declared a national emergency Tuesday after intelligence agencies confirmed what had long been whispered in dimly lit...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center
NEW YORK, NY — In a bold and deeply confusing pivot widely described as “either performance art or a cry...
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone
DEAD SEA REGION – Organizers of the “Rainbow Renaissance Festival,” scheduled for next month adjacent to the traditional location of...
Ilhan Omar Quietly Shuts Down Her “Quality Winary Center” as Ethics Scrutiny Intensifies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move described by aides as “a routine operational adjustment,” Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) has discreetly...
Breaking: Bill Clinton Adopts Eric Swalwell: “He’s The Son I Never Had”
Little Rock, AR – In a move described by insiders as both “heartwarming” and “legally inventive,” former President Bill Clinton...
BREAKING: Eric Swalwell resigns from Congress for stuff he totally didn’t do
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that surprised absolutely no one paying attention, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) announced his...
Swalwell Transitions to Black Woman, Prompting Immediate Dismissal of All Sexual Assault Allegations
WASHINGTON — Facing mounting calls to drop out of the California gubernatorial race after four women accused him of sexual...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris ‘Seriously Thinking About’ Losing Again in 2028
Washington, D.C. — In a development that has sent mild ripples through the Democratic Party’s already exhausted support base, sources...
Canada reveals new fully-inclusive LGBTQ+ acronym with 8 billion characters
Canadian activist group Identititarian Linguists Lithograph (ILL) have published a book containing the latest, most inclusive acronym for the LGBTQQIX2+...
BREAKING: Israel warns Trump that Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens are 2 weeks away from developing nuclear weapon
Jerusalem, April 10 — In a stark intelligence briefing delivered to President Donald Trump’s incoming national security team, Israeli officials...
