Local Man Arrested for Impersonating NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang to Hook Up With Hot Chinese Spies 
‘I’m Not a Damn Monkey!’ Says Local Gorilla Demanding Taxonomic Accuracy from Ole Miss Students 
BREAKING: Epstein Island sold to wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef 
Trump Orders New Border Wall Around Texas for When the Democrats Take Over 
Russell Brand Informs Judge ‘Those R*pes Occurred on Epstein Island;’ Charges Vacated Immediately 
Trump Taps Literal Gas Light to Replace White House Press Secretary
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday selected a literal gas light to replace Katie Zacharia as White House press...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Ilhan Omar Spotted Fleeing United States in White Ford Bronco Driven by Brother-Husband
In a scene that struck many observers as both familiar and entirely expected, Representative Ilhan Omar was reportedly seen late...
Liberal Takes Break From Telling Sydney Sweeney to Put More Clothes On to Slam Shane Gillis for Telling Women to Put More Clothes On
In a rare moment of consistency interruption, progressive commentators who have spent recent months urging actress Sydney Sweeney to “put...
Miss United Kingdom Adds ‘Best Burka’ Segment to 2027 Pageant
LONDON — Organisers of the Miss United Kingdom beauty pageant announced Thursday that the competition will introduce a new judged...
Ilhan Omar Asks That You Not Share Her Mug Shot on Social Media
WASHINGTON — Rep. Ilhan Omar issued a statement Tuesday requesting that the public refrain from circulating a recent mugshot in...
DNC Floats Harris-Buttigieg Ticket, Labels Them “Harri/Butt 2028”
WASHINGTON — Democratic National Committee officials are circulating a proposed 2028 presidential ticket pairing former Vice President Kamala Harris with...
Talarico Ends Campaign To Star In “One Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”
AUSTIN, Texas — Democratic U.S. Senate candidate James Talarico announced Tuesday that he is ending his campaign to accept the...
Christa Pike Released From Hospital To Head Democratic National Committee
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Christa Pike, recently released from a local hospital following medical treatment, was appointed chair of the Democratic...
Local Leftist Takes Break From Celebrating All Immigrants to Condemn One Particular Immigrant
PORTLAND, Ore. — In a rare departure from her usual advocacy, community organizer Marisol Vargas paused her longstanding campaign of...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
