Local Man Arrested for Impersonating NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang to Hook Up With Hot Chinese Spies 
‘I’m Not a Damn Monkey!’ Says Local Gorilla Demanding Taxonomic Accuracy from Ole Miss Students 
BREAKING: Epstein Island sold to wealthy Middle Eastern businessman Haadid Nahkil Muhssef 
Trump Orders New Border Wall Around Texas for When the Democrats Take Over 
Russell Brand Informs Judge ‘Those R*pes Occurred on Epstein Island;’ Charges Vacated Immediately 
Cleveland Retires ‘Racist’ Browns Name; Changes to Cleveland Turds
CLEVELAND — The National Football League has granted the Cleveland Browns permission to place a brown turd emoji on both...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
By Securing Greenland, Trump Will Now Get A +5 Troop Bonus Every Turn
WASHINGTON — The White House confirmed Saturday that the United States’ newly secured position in Greenland will deliver a permanent...
Sydney Sweeney Issues Heartfelt Apology to Critics for Being So Attractive
LOS ANGELES — Actress Sydney Sweeney issued a lengthy, unprompted apology Friday to critics who have spent years pointing out...
GOP Makes Final Plea Before Midterms: ‘Vote For Us. We Take the Best Vacations!’
WASHINGTON — With seven weeks remaining until the midterm elections, Republican officials on Thursday introduced what they described as a...
JUST IN: GOP Congress Narrowly Avoids Doing Anything Before Leaving for Vacation Again
WASHINGTON — Republican majorities in the House and Senate narrowly avoided accomplishing anything of note this week, successfully clearing the...
To Counter Trump’s Artificial Intelligence Push, Dems Launch ‘Artificial Stupidity’ Models Based on AOC and Kamala Harris
WASHINGTON — In a bold legislative response to former President Donald Trump’s renewed calls for accelerated artificial intelligence development, Democratic...
Introducing Sharia Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
AI CEOs Vow to Slow Advancement by Releasing ‘Artificial Unintelligence’ Models Based on AOC and Kamala Harris
SILICON VALLEY — In a coordinated announcement this week, chief executives from several leading artificial intelligence companies revealed plans to...
McConnell Spotted in Public for First Time in Months
WASHINGTON — Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) was observed Tuesday for the first time in months, motionless in the front passenger...
McConnell Makes First Senate Appearance Since June
WASHINGTON — Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) returned to the Senate chamber on Tuesday for the first time since his death...
