Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
BREAKING: Fauci denies crazy conspiracy theory that there was a pandemic
WASHINGTON, DC—After evidence has surfaced proving that Dr. Anthony Fauci was responsible for funding the Wuhan lab from which SARS-CoV-2...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
New study shows Gen-Z girls are actually capable of doing things without posting about it on social media first
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that Gen-Z girls are actually capable of doing things without posting about...
Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks...
Local woman first to do something first before a man does it
Women have a long history of firsts in which a woman does something for the first time after a man...
Ladies, let me explain what ‘mansplaining’ is—it’s very simple
As a highly intelligent and knowledgeable individual, I am well-versed in the art of "mansplaining". You're probably unfamiliar with this...
BREAKING: Scientists warn Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate
WORLD—Scientists around the world have warned that the Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by the year 2025 if...
Anti-war Democrats excited for Biden to start WWIII
WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty Republicans to celebrate President* Joe...
BREAKING: Buttigieg surveys Ohio train disaster site in full Medieval armor
Former mayor and current Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg made headlines recently when he was spotted wearing an unusual form...
Embrace Your Natural Beauty with The Rat’s Nest Hairdo
Move over, mullets and bowl cuts - the latest hairstyle trend has arrived, and it's sure to turn heads. Introducing...
BREAKING: Biden announces 2024 campaign for president of Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking announcement today, President Joe Biden declared that he will be running for the presidency of Ukraine...
