BRILLIANT: Tesla unveils ‘Original’ and ‘Extra Crispy’ models 
Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster 
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!” 
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients 
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous 
The Latest Trend in Detox: Eating Dirt
Are you tired of drinking green juice and eating only kale for your detox? Say goodbye to bland and boring...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
BREAKING: Biden posts TikTok video celebrating the end of Chinese spying
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden posted a video of him dancing on the TikTok social media platform to celebrate his ending...
Here Are All of the Items Found in that Chinese Spy Balloon Shot Down by the U.S. Military
UNITED STATES—This past week a spy balloon belonging to the Communist Party of China (CCP) was shot down off the...
BREAKING: Montana raises Ukrainian flag so that US will defend their airspace
BILLINGS, MT—Following the discovery of a Chinese spy balloon floating above the state, Montana Governor Greg Gianforte raised the Ukrainian...
BREAKING: McCarthy replenishes US Strategic Salt Reserves from Rep Tlaib’s tears after Omar’s committee ouster
WASHINGTON, DC—The new Congress is already seeing returns from its Republican majority. Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy was able...
BREAKING: Chinese spy balloon spotted flying over North America
The Pentagon is tracking a suspected Chinese spy balloon that is making its way over the northern US, a further strain on...
FBI reports they found nothing that would incriminate the FBI in Biden beach home search
WILMINGTON, DE—The FBI has reported that they have found nothing that would incriminate the FBI in the search of President*...
Introducing the Latest Beauty Trend: The Cactus Facial
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to feel the prick of beauty! Introducing the latest and greatest beauty trend to hit...
Pink threatens to make pro-lifers listen to her music if they don’t start supporting abortion
Pink has taken to Twitter to send out a strong message to pro-life fans who support the recent overturning of...
