Talarico Polling Near 100 Percent Among Texas Lizard People 
Biblical Scholars Now Conclude Eve Answered “Not to My Knowledge” When Asked About the Fruit 
Ilhan Omar Comes Out of Hiding for an Appearance on Jerry Springer 
AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’ 
SURPRISE: Obama Defends Foreign-Born Politician Who Ran Under Another Name After Marriage Questions 
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Normal white guy wins “scariest” Halloween costume contest without costume
A normal white guy won the annual Halloween costume contest at the University of Madison Wisconsin's Union over the weekend...
Biden eases fears of nuclear war by posting ‘Nuke Free Zones’ signs around the country
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has allayed all fears of global thermonuclear war by posting "Nuke Free Zone" signs all over...
Spirit Halloween “Science” Costume
Unleash your inner genius and eccentricity with the Spirit Halloween "Science" costume, the perfect choice for Halloween or themed parties....
BREAKING: All 11 of Mike Pence supporters were devastated to learn he has dropped out of the race
INDIANAPOLIS—The 2024 presidential race took an unexpected turn when former Vice President Mike Pence announced his withdrawal from the crowded...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
BREAKING: AOC introduces bill outlawing mass shootings
Following a string of mass shootings, Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has had enough. "Welp, we were so stupid for so long...
Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
Fetterman finally returns from Burning Man 2022: no-one noticed he was gone
PHILADELPHIA: Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman is back home today after being stuck at the Burning Man festival in Nevada for...
EXCLUSIVE: Mike Johnson won Speakership by promising to ban AOC’s ‘pull my finger’ gag
Washington, D.C. - In a surprising turn of events, newly elected Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has made it...
