Nick Saban urges Senate to save college football by returning to paying players under the table 
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears 
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face 
BREAKING: Becerra Rockets to Top of California Gubernatorial Polls After Debuting Nazi Tattoo 
California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
AOC: ‘We can seriously reduce crime if we just legalize shoving people onto subway train tracks’
NEW YORK—The epidemic of people shoving other people onto train tracks in New York subway stations has gotten the attention...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Dr. Evil sues Alex Jones for $Gazillion Bajillion
AUSTIN- Supervillain Dr. Evil's legal team announced a new lawsuit against Alex Jones seeking a gazillion bajillion dollar settlement.Dr. Evil...
Stacey Abrams: ‘If we abort 2 Million babies this year we could send another $40 Billion to Ukraine’
ATLANTA—Georgia gubernatorial candidate and perennial election denier Stacey Abrams is promoting a savvy economic plan. "Inflation is really hitting us...
How opposing nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy
I don't know who needs to hear this but opposing Biden's forthcoming nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy...
Abrams: ‘Food and energy prices too high? Have you tried killing your kids?’
ATLANTA—Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams has taken a bold stance in her latest interview, promoting multiple homicides to deal with...
BREAKING: Kanye West agrees to settle with Floyd family for $15M; will pay in counterfeit $20 bills
MINNEAPOLIS—Kanye West (Ye) has agreed to settle with the George Floyd family who has sued West for $250 million for...
FACT CHECK: Cognitive ability is NOT relevant to holding public office
US—Following last week's NBC interview with braindead Pennsylvania Senate candidate John Fetterman, several posts on social media recently have claimed...
BREAKING: Spokesperson for Hell disputes Biden’s claim that the U.S. economy is ‘strong as hell’
WASHINGTON, DC—A spokesperson for the Underworld has disputed US President* Joe Biden's claim that the US economy is "strong as...
BREAKING: In response to Biden’s quid pro quo deal with Saudi Arabia, Congress to impeach Donald Trump again
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to President* Joe Biden’s attempted quid pro quo deal with Saudi Arabia, Congress has moved to impeach...