Nick Saban urges Senate to save college football by returning to paying players under the table 
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears 
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face 
BREAKING: Becerra Rockets to Top of California Gubernatorial Polls After Debuting Nazi Tattoo 
California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
BREAKING: In order to win back JPMorgan Chase, Ye West starts a child sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—Rapper Ye (formerly Kanye) West was pilloried by media pundits and JPMorgan Chase closed his bank account after committing...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Dr. Evil claims Alex Jones defamed him by calling him ‘Mr. Evil,’ demands $1 trillion
AUSTIN—The hits keep coming for Alex Jones, who recently received a guilty verdict in a defamation suit by the Sandy...
BREAKING: Biden recounts harrowing story of how his son, Queen Elizabeth II, was killed in Iraq
CAMP HALE, Colorado—Speaking near Vail, President* Joe Biden recounted a harrowing story of how his son, Queen Elizabeth II 'lost...
BREAKING: Jury confuses Alex Jones with Volodymyr Zelensky, orders him to pay $1 billion
The jury in the Alex Jones Sandy Hook defamation suite has confused Jones with Ukrainian money launderer Volodymyr Zelensky and...
PayPal fines itself $2500 for spreading misinformation about its own misinformation policy
HADES, California—Payment company PayPal fined itself $2500 for violating its own misinformation policy after being criticized recently by people on...
California celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 6 people to climate goddess Greta Thunberg
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris announces new NFL rules ‘based on equity’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference today, Vice President* Kamala Harris announced that the NFL will move to a new scoring...
White House Forced to Walk Back Biden’s ‘I am the President’ Remark
During an interview on CBS’s 60 Minutes, Joe Biden claimed that he was “the President of the United States.” Biden’s...
BREAKING: Feds may have enough evidence on Hunter Biden to ignore it and do nothing just like they’ve been doing the last 3 years
WASHINTON, DC—Federal law enforcement agencies say they now may have enough evidence on Hunter Biden to absolutely ignore it and...
BREAKING: Zelensky wins Nobel Peace Prize for refusing to negotiate peace
OSLO, Norway—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has won the 2022 Nobel Peace Prize for refusing to hold peace talks with Russia....