Nick Saban urges Senate to save college football by returning to paying players under the table 
Trump Confirms Reflecting Pool Filled With 100% Ethically-Sourced Liberal Tears 
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face 
BREAKING: Becerra Rockets to Top of California Gubernatorial Polls After Debuting Nazi Tattoo 
California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to buy embattled Ukraine for $44 billion too
AUSTIN—Just hours after the world's wealthiest person Elon Musk agreed to let the purchase of embattled social media company Twitter...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
FBI opens investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has opened an investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist,...
Here Are Other Times Biden Recalled Stories That Never Happened
President Biden has this strange tendency of recalling stories that never actually happened. No one’s exactly sure what processes are...
BREAKING: Americans plead Putin not to nuke Washington DC until Congress is back in session
WASHINGTON, DC—As world superpowers hurtle toward nuclear war, a Pew Pew Institute poll shows that Americans would prefer that Russian...
Top Ten Signs Your House Will Be Raided By the FBI
Are you a conservative patriot who loves this country and everything it stands for? Then you better watch out, because...
White House Clarifies Biden’s ‘Where’s Jackie?’ Remark: ‘He Was Talking About Jackie Chan’
Last week, Joe Biden asked at the White House Conference on Hunger, Nutrition, and Health if Jackie Walorski, (R-Indiana), who died...
Louisiana man whose skin turned black from antidepressants is offered full ride to Harvard
A caucasian man's skin has turned black after a mystery reaction to a commonly prescribed anti-depressant. Harvard has since given...
QUIZ: Caused by Hurricane Ian or by Democrats?
Hurricane Ian destroyed much of the western coast of Florida but was it as bad as Democrats? Test your knowledge!...
BREAKING: Biden promises to help those hit by Hurricane Ian by giving $13 billion more to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—After Historic Hurricane Ian devastated the West coast of Florida, President* Joe Biden said that he will do everything...
AOC: ‘If the recession is so bad why are all my friends in DC getting so rich?’
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I’d like to share. Lots of capitalist monsters try to say that...