‘Trump Can’t Buy Me for $5,000,’ Says Local Man Who Got Experimental Jab for a Free Donut 
AOC Asks How 9/11 Victims ‘Died in Alphabetical Order’ During Memorial Reading 
Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Newsom assures Californians his vaccine passports will be ‘super cute’
SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom announced a new way to show that you've been vaccinated against COVID-19 and allayed fears about...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
OPED: How many people have to die before we enact common sense Clinton control?
After the "suicide" of the reporter who broke the Clinton-Lynch tarmac story, Clinton control is again at the forefront of...
BREAKING: Democrats vote to remove Southern states from US for ties to slavery
WASHINGTON DC—In a shocking and unprecedented move, congressional Democrats have voted to remove Southern states from the Union for their...
Ryan Gosling is George Floyd in the new BLM production based on true events
It's sure to win several Oscars. If it doesn't you're racist. You're all racists.
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
Time: Biden taking on stairs
Did you catch a wiff of the new Time cover? Those aviators! "On his way to meet Vladimir Putin, Secret...
David Hogg campaigns to ban assault donations like those used on AOC’s abuela
HOGG HEAVEN, FL—Activist David Hogg, who is known for his fight to ban guns and his MyPillow competition MyDillow, has...
CNN rehires Jeffrey Toobin as Chief OnlyFans Correspondent
In a touching story of redemption, Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN following his embarrassing departure when the former Chief Legal...
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Fauci declares ‘I am science’ as he launches new COVID Inquisition Panel
WASHINGTON, DC—Grand Science Wizard Saint Anthony Fauci has declared what everyone in the mainstream media has known for a while:...
