Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center 
Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend 
The Racist Origins of Father’s Day 
Happy Non-Gestating Person Day to All Who Celebrate 
AOC: We Must Abolish Father’s Day Because It Is Racist 
Trump Orders Blockade of Ohio River, Plans Airstrikes on Kentucky Over Massie Nuclear Threat
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the U.S. military has established a full naval blockade of the Ohio...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Israel Alerts Trump That Thomas Massie is Just 2 Weeks from Completing Nuclear Weapon
WASHINGTON — Israeli officials have formally briefed President Donald Trump that Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) is approximately 14 days away...
Indulgence as Support for Your Values
People usually talk about indulgence as if it automatically works against discipline. It gets framed as the thing you do...
With 0% of Votes Counted, Fox News Projects Miriam Adelson Victory in Kentucky House Primary
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Citing “robust internal modeling” and an unnamed source described only as “a very reliable donor,” Fox News...
Local Dad Offers Definitive Guide to When You Should Wave At Someone While Driving
Area dad Mark Thompson, 47, sat down with reporters Tuesday to clarify the complex social etiquette of waving from a...
“Are You Not Validated?” – Elliot Page Gladiator Remake Review
In what can only be described as a courageous act of historical scholarship, Ridley Scott—or whoever was contractually obligated to...
Kentucky Derby Horse Accuses Ed Gallrein of Sexual Misconduct, Offering Her Hush Money
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Ed Gallrein, the Republican candidate for Kentucky’s 4th Congressional District, saw his once-promising campaign collapse Wednesday after...
BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony
BOONE COUNTY, Ky. — A local farmer has come forward with explosive allegations that Republican congressional candidate Ed Gallrein, who...
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love
WASHINGTON — A veteran Chick-fil-A spokes-cow has leveled explosive new allegations against Thomas Massie, claiming the congressman not only carried...
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation
Abstract Researchers at the Institute for Objective Athletic Evaluation uploaded every available statistic, play-by-play log, game film, and biomechanical dataset...
