Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years
GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...
Source of coronavirus now confirmed to be John Bolton’s moustache
The CDC, after sending hundreds of its own investigators to China, has finally uncovered the so-called Index Case and source...
Adam Schiff nominated for Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in a Fictional Impeachment
Genesius Times Entertaintent reporters have just learned that Adam Schiff, despite considerable competition in this category, has been nominated for...
AOC ensures migrants receive fresh water and nutritious bat soup upon entering US
Disgusted by the conditions of undocumented migrants entering the country, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is working to ensure travelers...
Roberts won’t let Paul say the name of the whistleblower that no one knows the name of
During the impeachment trial, Chief Justice John Roberts prevented Senator Rand Paul from saying a name because it was the...
BREAKING: The Senate will call impeachment witness John Blasey Bolton
Democrats cheered as they secured enough votes to allow witness in the Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump. Their...
6 Troubling White Nationalist Symbols Hidden Within The New Space Force Logo
The Anti-Defamation League is sounding the alarm over secret Nazi imagery they have discovered hidden within President Trump’s new Space...
School admins worried about increase in mass literacy, overall decency among homeschool kids
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials from the American Federation of Teachers and the Common Core Initiative have released a troubling report that paints...
Warren wears her ancestral headdress while vowing to criminalize election ‘disinformation’
Wearing a Native American headdress, Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren promised Wednesday not to spread fake news online in a tweet...
