US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone 
Ilhan Omar Quietly Shuts Down Her “Quality Winary Center” as Ethics Scrutiny Intensifies 
Breaking: Bill Clinton Adopts Eric Swalwell: “He’s The Son I Never Had” 
BREAKING: District Court Judge overrules US Cold War victory, orders Germany to put the Berlin Wall back up
District Court Judge Hugh Jassole has declared the United States’ victory in the Cold War “null and void,” ordering Germany...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Federal Judge orders Putin to cancel Trump-brokered ceasefire and go back to war
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has issued an extraordinary order demanding that Russian President Vladimir Putin cancel a freshly brokered ceasefire...
POLL: 10% of Americans still believe the crazy conspiracy theory that the CIA didn’t kill Kennedy
In a stunning blow to common sense and decades of well-established tinfoil-hat wisdom, a new poll has revealed that a...
BREAKING: Trump reveals ‘shocking’ JFK files: Iran killed Kennedy using a camel-powered time machine
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump today released long-classified JFK assassination files that allegedly reveal Iran as the mastermind behind the 1963...
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of judges who say he can’t deport them
Trump has responded to a federal district court judge's blocking the deportation of hundreds of Tren de Aragua gang members...
Ireland slaps 125% tariff on US Goods until America takes Rosie O’Donnell back
Dublin, Ireland – The Irish government announced today a staggering 125% tariff on all goods imported from the United States,...
BREAKING: Trump derangement syndrome has mutated into deadlier variant Trump & Elon derangement syndrome
US—Scientists and social commentators alike are sounding the alarm as a new, more virulent strain of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)...
Democrats explain that painting Swastikas everywhere and torching immigrant businesses ‘Isn’t Fascism, It’s *Democratic* Fascism’
SEATTLE–Leading Democrats have unveiled a groundbreaking defense of their latest grassroots initiative: painting swastikas on public buildings and setting fire...
Dept of Education ends up with more employees after trying to fire 50% of workforce using Common Core math
WASHINGTON, DC—The Department of Education announced Monday that it has somehow ended up with more employees after attempting to fire...
Zelensky vows to read ‘Art Of The Deal’ before next White House visit
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced Tuesday that he plans to read Donald Trump’s 1987 business manifesto, The Art of the...
