BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Sources confirm Stacey Abrams ate Uncle Bosey
ATLANTA—In a shocking turn of events, sources close to the Biden campaign have confirmed that Stacey Abrams, the former Georgia...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
California Tourism launches ‘Come to Kill Your Baby, Stay For The Weather’ campaign
SACRAMENTO—California Tourism officials have unveiled a bold and controversial new marketing campaign aimed at attracting visitors to the Golden State....
BREAKING: US border states change name to Taiwan, Ukraine, and Israel to get money from Congress to defend their borders
US—In a bold and bewildering move, four U.S. border states—Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and California—have announced plans to change their...
EARTH DAY: Biden says it’s environmentally responsible to kill your girlfriend and compost her remains remains
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre and unsettling Earth Day address, President Joe Biden urged Americans to take drastic action to reduce...
Mark Zuckerberg unveils new upgraded skin that looks more human-like
Palo Alto, CA—In a bold move to boost investor confidence, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has debuted his latest innovation: a...
BREAKING: Congress bans waving American flag in Capitol; allows only Ukrainian flag to be flown
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has unanimously passed a bill making it a federal offense to wave the American flag within the US...
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
Chick-Fil-A Introduces “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” & “Corn Pop Poppers”
ATLANTA—Chick-Fil-A has introduced two new menu items that are sure to raise eyebrows: "Uncle Bosie's Bites" and "Corn Pop Poppers."...
2024 Burning Man Festival moves to outside NYC courthouse during Trump hush money trial
NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year's festival will take place on the steps of the...
Harvard Hires Stormy Daniels to Teach Class on Virtue
BOSTON—Harvard University has announced the hiring of adult film star Stormy Daniels to teach a class on virtue. The decision...
