Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Ivy League Presidents correct lawmakers: ‘It’s not genocide, it’s *democratic genocide’
In a stunning display of intellectual prowess, Ivy League presidents Liz Magill, Sally Kornbluth, and Claudine Gay have come forward...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: If transwomen aren’t women, why are they winning all the women’s sports?
I've got something super important to talk about. So, like, if transwomen aren't women, why are they winning all the...
We’re DINKS and we want you to know how fulfilled we are by letting you know how fulfilled we are
In a world filled with acronyms, we proudly wear the badge of DINK (Dual Income, No Kids). But we're not...
France’s impending civil war: a race to see which side surrenders first
PARIS—In a twist that only the French could orchestrate, the land of baguettes and berets finds itself on the brink...
Following Santos’ expulsion for being a lying money launderer, Congress expels all of Congress for being lying money launderers
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events that left the nation both bewildered and mildly impressed, Congress has collectively expelled...
Due to public outcry, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has been replaced with, “DaM, Bit¢h It B FreeZin!”
Many activist groups have targeted the popular winter classic "Baby It's Cold Outside" as an artifact of rape culture, citing...
Local woman discovers perfect balance between work, family, and unreachable expectations
In a stunning turn of events, local woman and self-proclaimed multitasking wizard, Karen Supermomington, has reportedly cracked the elusive code...
BREAKING: All charges against George Santos dropped after he identifies as a Cherokee Indian veteran who slept with a Chinese spy
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprising twist that could rival the most intricate plot twists from a spy novel, charges against U.S....
BREAKING: White House Christmas tree falls down to be closer to Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming display of holiday spirit, the White House Christmas tree took a graceful tumble, making a bold...
Young Chiefs fan apologizes for appropriating Elizabeth Warren and wearing Trudeau Face
In an unforeseen twist at a recent Chiefs game, a young fan found himself inadvertently thrust into the political limelight,...
