BREAKING: Democrats furious that Trump did what they’ve demanded he do 
Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers 
Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon 
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring 
Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume 
BREAKING: The ‘Free Palpatine’ movement spreads across the US
In a bizarre and slightly humorous twist, a peculiar movement known as the "Free Palpatine" campaign has been gaining ground...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local father of 4 lives one year entirely on his kids’ food that ‘touched another food’
In a world where parenting challenges abound, one brave father has taken on the ultimate test of endurance and gag...
BREAKING: Sources confirm Stacey Abrams ate Uncle Bosey
ATLANTA—In a shocking turn of events, sources close to the Biden campaign have confirmed that Stacey Abrams, the former Georgia...
California Tourism launches ‘Come to Kill Your Baby, Stay For The Weather’ campaign
SACRAMENTO—California Tourism officials have unveiled a bold and controversial new marketing campaign aimed at attracting visitors to the Golden State....
BREAKING: US border states change name to Taiwan, Ukraine, and Israel to get money from Congress to defend their borders
US—In a bold and bewildering move, four U.S. border states—Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and California—have announced plans to change their...
EARTH DAY: Biden says it’s environmentally responsible to kill your girlfriend and compost her remains remains
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre and unsettling Earth Day address, President Joe Biden urged Americans to take drastic action to reduce...
Mark Zuckerberg unveils new upgraded skin that looks more human-like
Palo Alto, CA—In a bold move to boost investor confidence, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has debuted his latest innovation: a...
BREAKING: Congress bans waving American flag in Capitol; allows only Ukrainian flag to be flown
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has unanimously passed a bill making it a federal offense to wave the American flag within the US...
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
Chick-Fil-A Introduces “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” & “Corn Pop Poppers”
ATLANTA—Chick-Fil-A has introduced two new menu items that are sure to raise eyebrows: "Uncle Bosie's Bites" and "Corn Pop Poppers."...
