Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Pope Francis ousts bishop for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN CITY—In a shocking turn of events at the Vatican, Pope Francis, known for his progressive stances and inclusive approach,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: If communism doesn’t work, how come Xi Jinping solved San Francisco’s homeless epidemic and poop all over the place just by visiting?
Hello fellow kids, gather 'round for a hot take that's fresher than last night's microwave pizza. So, like, if communism...
NYC residents beg Xi Jinping to visit so the government would fix their homeless problem too
In an unexpected twist of municipal envy, New York City residents are pleading with Chinese President Xi Jinping to sprinkle...
Speaker Johnson climbs mountain of Biden corruption evidence to declare ‘There’s not enough evidence to impeach Biden’
In a stunning display of political acrobatics, Speaker of the House, John Johnson, ascended the treacherous peak of evidence of...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
Ohio officials warn pregnant women not to smoke their legal weed before getting a legal abortion because it may be harmful to the fetus
COLUMBUS, OH—Health officials in Ohio have warned pregnant women to avoid smoking their now-legal weed before getting a legal abortion...
Ohio Planned Parenthoods offering free bag of weed with every abortion
COLUMBUS, OH—Taking advantage of Ohio's legalization of abortion and marijuana, Planned Parenthood is now offering a bag of weed with...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn Nashville shooter wasn’t a white supremacist
NASHVILLE—In a shocking revelation, the nation was stunned to learn that the recent Nashville shooter wasn't a white supremacist. This...
‘The Marvels’ set to shatter opening-weekend record for virtue signals
HOLLYWOOD—In a stunning turn of events for the world of cinema, "The Marvels" is on track to shatter opening weekend...
FBI Shuts Down Investigation Of Eric Adams’s Finances After He Writes ‘Loan Repayment’ On All Checks
NEW YORK—In a shocking turn of events that has left financial investigators baffled, the FBI has abruptly suspended its probe...
