BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling 
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
TRANS WIN: Sports Illustrated replaces entire staff with people who are fired but identify as employed
In a stunning twist that has left the media industry scratching its collective head, Sports Illustrated has chosen to revolutionize...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
E. Jean Carroll Alleges Trump Shouted ‘This Is MAGA Country’ While Raping Her
In a shocking twist to the ongoing legal battle between E. Jean Carroll and former President Donald Trump, new allegations...
Chris Christie Joins Trump Campaign as Food Taster
In a masterstroke of political chess, former President Donald J. Trump has taken preemptive measures to protect himself from the...
BREAKING: Ted Cruz releases letter officially endorsing Donald Trump for president
In a surprising twist of political theater, Senator Ted Cruz has released a letter officially endorsing former President Donald Trump...
Is Vocational School Right For You?
In a world where the traditional path of a four-year college degree is often seen as the only gateway to...
BREAKING: Fox News unanimously declares Jeb Bush the winner of the 2024 Iowa Caucases
DES MOINES—In a bizarre turn of events, Fox News has taken a bold leap into the realm of speculative journalism...
Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
FAA to hire more people with ‘severe intellectual’ and ‘psychiatric’ disabilities to match Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has aviation experts questioning whether they accidentally boarded the wrong flight, the Federal Aviation Administration...
Nikki Haley wows townhall by chugging hot sauce to match ethnicity of every audience member
IOWA—CNN town hall audience and viewers were treated to a political first, as Nikki Haley kept reaching into her purse...
Gov Hochul Moves Bills Playoff Game to June To Avoid Cold and Snow
BUFFALO—In a move that left football fans scratching their heads and meteorologists questioning their careers, Governor Kathy Hochul has boldly...
