Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: East Palestine, OH changes name to Palestine to get Biden to visit
EAST PALESTINE, OH—In a truly audacious move that has left the nation both bewildered and amused, the tiny town of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Fox News unanimously declares Jeb Bush Speaker of the House
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and, some would say, bewildering turn of events, Fox News, the network known for its unique...
BREAKING: AOC forced to pay a carbon offset penalty for her livestream flatulent
WASSHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), often recognized for her passionate climate advocacy, has found herself in hot air - quite...
Ozzy Osbourne hired to interpret Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—Weeks into Joe Biden's presidency, Democratic strategists have finally find someone capable of interpreting what the hell he is...
AOC: ‘It is barbaric and evil to behead babies like Hamas did outside the mother’s womb!’
I don't know who needs to hear this, but what Hamas did in Israel is just barbaric and evil! How...
BREAKING: Biden includes Hamas terrorists in impressive 336,000 new jobs report
WASHINGTON, DC—In a truly baffling turn of events, President* Biden's administration has managed to find a silver lining in the...
BREAKING: CIA accidentally gives $3 billion to Trump supporter disguised as Hamas terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC--We reported on a Trump supporter who disguised himself as a Hamas terrorist in order to be removed from...
Newsom celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 666 people to climate goddess Greta
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day at the capitol by sacrificing six unlucky human beings to...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you’re a Nazi bigot, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities...
AOC horrified that Hamas used gas-powered vehicles to terrorize Israel instead of electric vehicles
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning twist of events, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, known for her passionate advocacy of environmental issues, expressed shock...
