California Vows To Keep Counting Votes Until Pratt & Hilton Are Eliminated 
California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
BREAKING: Kamala Harris given her old job at McDonald’s following election loss
Oakland, CA — In the wake of a tumultuous election, Kamala Harris has reportedly rejoined the workforce at an Oakland...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Liz Cheney receives deployment orders to Iran following Trump 2024 election victory
WASHINGTON, DC—Former Representative Liz Cheney was recently surprised by an unexpected call to service following President Trump's 2024 victory. Just...
BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for winning the 2024 election
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for winning the 2024 presidential election. The news has sent shockwaves through...
BREAKING: America elects Literally Hitler as president despite Joe Scarborough’s warnings
America has elected "Literally Hitler" as its president, despite numerous warnings from Joe Scarborough and other political commentators. The news...
BREAKING: Joe Biden re-enters presidential race after seeing Kamala Harris lose election
US—Joe Biden has announced that he will re-enter the presidential race after witnessing Kamala Harris's defeat in the 2024 election....
Elon Musk opens salt mines sourced from liberal tears as Trump wins 2024 election
AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely...
WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
Several cities boarding up stores in preparation for massive ‘joy’ from Democrats in case Trump wins
PORTLAND—Several liberal cities across the United States have begun boarding up stores in preparation for the massive "joy" from Democrats...
How to Formalize a Family Loan
When money is tight, many people turn to family for help. Whether you need cash for an emergency, a down...
BREAKING: Peanut the squirrel teams up with Harambe to posthumously endorse Donald Trump
NEW YORK—The spirit of Peanut the Squirrel has teamed up with Harambe the gorilla to posthumously endorse former President Donald...
