Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’ 
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’ 
Chuck Schumer celebrates Black History Month by devouring rack of ribs and whole watermelon at press conference 
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling 
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after retiring from soccer
In an unexpected turn of events, soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe has found a new calling after what some are calling...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Palestinians promise that 10% of the released hostages will go to the ‘Big Guy’
In a perplexing twist of international diplomacy, Palestinian leaders have assured President Joe Biden that, as part of their gratitude...
BREAKING: Irish PM vows to crack down on unhinged extremists who don’t want their children stabbed
DUBLIN—In a stunning display of political resolve, the Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar has announced a bold crackdown on what...
Notre Dame changes mascot to Fighting Right-Wing Extremists following Dublin riots
SOUTH BEND, IN—In an unexpected turn of events that left the university community bewildered and perhaps a tad nervous, University...
If you don’t want your children stabbed, you’re probably a far-right extremist
I don't know who needs to hear this but if you don't want your kiddos gettin' poked with sharp stuff,...
BREAKING: FBI arrest person of interest in Rainbow Bridge terrorist attack
NIAGRA FALLS—In a plot that sounds like a rejected script for an action movie, the FBI has shocked the nation...
Biden: ‘Thanksgiving is cheaper this year thanks to our depopulation agenda’
In a surprising twist of holiday cheer, President Joe Biden has declared that Thanksgiving dinners are more affordable this year,...
Biden Pardons What Looks Suspiciously Like Hunter Biden In A Turkey Costume
In a stunning display of familial solidarity and culinary confusion, President Joe Biden, in what some witnesses are calling an...
NY Governor Hochul says students no longer have to think for themselves: ‘We’ll do it for you!’
ALBANY, NY—In a groundbreaking move, New York Governor Kathy Hochul has proudly announced that students across the state will no...
