Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’ 
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’ 
Chuck Schumer celebrates Black History Month by devouring rack of ribs and whole watermelon at press conference 
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling 
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Ohio officials warn pregnant women not to smoke their legal weed before getting a legal abortion because it may be harmful to the fetus
COLUMBUS, OH—Health officials in Ohio have warned pregnant women to avoid smoking their now-legal weed before getting a legal abortion...
Ohio Planned Parenthoods offering free bag of weed with every abortion
COLUMBUS, OH—Taking advantage of Ohio's legalization of abortion and marijuana, Planned Parenthood is now offering a bag of weed with...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn Nashville shooter wasn’t a white supremacist
NASHVILLE—In a shocking revelation, the nation was stunned to learn that the recent Nashville shooter wasn't a white supremacist. This...
‘The Marvels’ set to shatter opening-weekend record for virtue signals
HOLLYWOOD—In a stunning turn of events for the world of cinema, "The Marvels" is on track to shatter opening weekend...
FBI Shuts Down Investigation Of Eric Adams’s Finances After He Writes ‘Loan Repayment’ On All Checks
NEW YORK—In a shocking turn of events that has left financial investigators baffled, the FBI has abruptly suspended its probe...
Hasbro releases new ‘Woke Monopoly’
PAWTUCKET, RI — Hasbro, the renowned toy and board game company, is setting a new trend in the world of...
BREAKING: FBI awards Ray Epps ‘Employee of the Year’
WASHINGTON, DC—Many Democrats on the January 6th Committee haven't heard of Ray Epps, but that's all about to change as...
Democrats warn that House Speaker who hasn’t made millions on insider trading is threat to democracy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking twist, Democrats are making waves on Capitol Hill as they announce new criteria for...
Amid inflation, Millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune
Amid staggering inflation, Millennials have been forced to change their financial habits. Most worrisome is that Millennial contestants on Wheel...
