Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Small businesses are changing their name to ‘Ukraine’ so that Biden will forget to audit them
US—In a great small business hack, companies are changing their name to "Ukraine" so the new Biden IRS will forget...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Donald Trump Preparing For Third Impeachment Trial In Case He Wins Presidency
PALM BEACH, FL—As Donald Trump continues his race to the White House, insiders at his 2024 presidential campaign confirmed that...
BREAKING: Biden officially stops gain-of-function experiment funding to Wuhan lab that never happened
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made a bold move to halt funding for something that never even happened. In a...
Ben & Jerry’s To Close Permanently After Realizing Entire United States Was Once Indigenous Land
Last week Ben & Jerry’s customers were calling for a Bud Light-style boycott of the ice cream brand after it...
POLL: How should Disney rename irredeemably racist Snow White?
It's clear the Disney's Snow White franchise is irredeemably racist and must be completely overhauled. What should we demand Disney...
BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
Disney to Reimagine Classic as ‘Snow Brown and the Seven They/Thems’
In a move that has been called “brave” and “stunning”, Disney is putting a new twist on the studio’s first...
Secret Service Says They May Never Know Who Assassinated Abraham Lincoln
WASHINGTON, DC—The Secret Service closed another chapter today when it solved the mystery of the bottle of diet coke that...
US cheers Hollywood writers’ strike, excited for break from nonstop degenerate propaganda
In a surprising turn of events, the Hollywood writers have gone on strike, leaving the United States ecstatic about the...
