Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
FBI to Rename Itself ‘Federal Bureau of Intimidation’ to Better Reflect Its Mission
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI announced that a century after its founding in 1908, it’s changing its name. The official new name...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Hunter Biden stars in new film ‘High Plains Grifter’
In a stunning announcement, it has been revealed that Hunter Biden, son of US President Joe Biden, will be starring...
BREAKING: Rob Reiner hospitalized with severe addiction to AI-generated Trump arrest porn
NEW YORK–Vocal leftist Rob Reiner was hospitalized yesterday with a severe addiction to Trump arrest porn. Reiner fell victim to...
Pornhub launches new section for AI-generated Trump arrest porn
US—Nothing gets a beta male soy boy hotter than AI-generated images of former President Donal Trump being arrested in New...
Should You Sell A Home You Inherited?
Ah, inheritance – the proverbial cherry on top of the complicated cake we call life. If you've recently inherited a...
BREAKING: Trump arrest fails after he shouted ‘I can’t breathe!’ during arrest
NEW YORK—The highly anticipated arrest of former President Donald Trump failed after he shouted "I can't breathe" during the arrest...
BREAKING: In response to Biden’s illegal business deal with China, DOJ to arrest Donald Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to new revelations of illegal business dealings with China, The Department of Justice have issued an arrest...
BREAKING: Following Several Violations, Constitution in Critical Condition, Sent to Hospital for Emergency Care
DAILY CALLER—The Secret Service confirmed today that the Constitution of the United States was sent to the hospital and is...
BREAKING: Trump to commit violent felony in New York so DA Bragg will drop all charges against him
NEW YORK—Former President Donald Trump is reportedly considering committing a violent felony in New York City in hopes that District...
Biden to burn $100 bills at fireside chats to lower energy costs
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has announced that he will begin burning $100 bills in his fireside chats as a way...
