Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Pelosi: ‘I gave $110B to Ukraine and all I got was this lousy flag!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is mad as hell after Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky gave her a Ukrainian...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Omnibus spending bill includes $74 million green T-shirt budget for Zelensky
US—Congress is poised to pass an historic omnibus spending bill with $1.7 Trillion in new debt. While people like Senator...
BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules Constitution is Constitutional
WASHINGTON, DC—In the case of The Constitution v. Itself, the Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution is constitutional. “We were...
10 Ways to Figure Out if Joe Biden Fabricated a Story from Thin Air
Joe Biden lies a lot. Like a ton. Like maybe even more than Trump, which is saying something. But how...
United States Military to Stop Fighting All Wars to Combat Climate Change
UNITED STATES—Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announced today that the United States military will no longer directly engage in any wars...
BREAKING: Elon Musk steps down as Twitter CEO, announces new CEO: El Musko
US—Twitter CEO Elon Musk has stepped down as Twitter CEO after a majority of Twitter users polled by Musk voted...
BREAKING: New York Times supports Nazis with Swastika crossword on first day of Chanukah
NEW YORK—The New York Times have officially come out in support of the National Socialist Nazi Party with a Swastika...
BREAKING: France surrenders World Cup final
DOHA, QATAR—Argentina won the 2022 World Cup final after France surrendered. "We won the last World Cup and it just...
How to Know if You’re Being Gaslit, or if You’re Just Crazy
In an interview with a U.S. citizen who requested that her name be removed due to “family issues,” a woman...
Tucker Carlson gives touching tribute to one of America’s greatest leaders Adam Kinzinger
Try not to ball your eyes out crying at this touching send off! https://rumble.com/embed/v1yevca/?pub=w2au8
