Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
BREAKING: Kamala Harris arrests Brittney Griner for marijuana possession after arriving in US
US—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner was excited to get back to protesting America after America freed her from a Russian prison...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Man who released illegal arms dealer from prison gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Wednesday renewed vows to secure a new ban on assault weapons in the United States...
BREAKING: Biden swaps America-hating ‘Merchant of Death’ for Russian arms dealer
US—On Dec. 8, 2022, the Associated Press confirmed President* Joe Biden has secured a prisoner swap of America-hating "Merchant of Death" for...
How To Manage A Business From Another Country: Our Top Tips
Managing a business is a challenging task to accomplish. Managers have countless responsibilities that need their attention. Some might assume...
BREAKING: Time gives 10% of Zelensky’s Person of the Year award to ‘the Big Guy’
Time magazine named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky 2022's "Person of the Year" on Wednesday, but made sure to clarify that...
How to Play Off Accidentally Posting Satire as an Actual Headline
Did you eat the Onion? Get stung by the Bee? It's understandable with actual news headlines so ridiculous that it's...
BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to buy the FBI from the Clintons for $66 billion
US—Elon Musk has launched a $66 billion bid to buy the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), saying the proposed deal...
Treason’s Greetings from the Bidens!
"From our family to yours, we wish everyone treason's greetings. May your holidays be filled with the peace and joy...
Elon Musk sets new world record for not killing himself after revealing Deep State censorship
US—Last month Genesius Times, and News That Matters heralded Elon Musk's new world record for not killing himself after publicly...
Democrats pass law making home invaders announce they are burglars before robbing you
US—Democrats struggling to shake the "light on crime" stigma have passed a sweeping crime reform bill. The new bill, which...
