Kamala Harris kicks off Democratic Convention by sacrificing two babies to Moloch
CHICAGO—Democrats kicked off their 2024 convention with Vice Presidential pick Kamala Harris sacrificing two babies to Moloch, the patron god...
Joe Biden
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
KAMALA HARRIS: ‘We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to save democracy!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has made a bold declaration: "We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to...
MSDNC Poll: 5 out of 4 Americans Prefer Kamala Harris Over Donald Trump for President
NEW YORK— In a shocking and totally statistically sound survey, MSDNC has released a new poll revealing that 5 out...
Dems Pretend to be Excited About Moronic Descendant of Slave Owners That No One Voted For
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrat voter Lou Nee is over the moon to have a chance to vote for someone whose family owned...
BREAKING: White smoke billowing from White House signifies that the Deep State has selected a new puppet to head the government
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a scene reminiscent of the Vatican conclave, white smoke billowed from the chimneys of the White...
Biden Stepping Down ‘Since Assassinating My Opponent Didn’t Work’
In what some Democrats are calling a “stutter” and a “goof”, President* Biden said his main reason for stepping out...
BREAKING: Biden has been informed that he definitely doesn’t want to run for president anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprising twist, President* Joe Biden has been informed that he no longer wants to run for president...
BREAKING: Biden credits the COVID vaccine for him only getting a mild case of dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden held a press conference today to express his...
Quarantined Joe Biden grows mustache so he can continue sniffing hair
WASHINGTON, DC – Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been quarantined and staffers for his campaign have finally convinced him to...
