ACTUALLY: Cannibalism is the most eco-friendly diet and will save the planet
As a triple doctorate in Gender-Queer Wildebeest Grooming, Post-Colonial AI Prompt Engineering, and Post-Feminist Interpretive Dance Theory, I'm clearly the...
climate change
Taylor Swift takes private jet to get from one side of her private jet to the other
US—Pop sensation Taylor Swift has unveiled her revolutionary solution for in-flight convenience: taking a private jet to get from one...
AOC: Thousands of ducks are killed each day to make duck tape. It needs to end!
Hello, beautiful Earth warriors! It's your friendly neighborhood AOC here, and today, I need to talk to you about a...
TX Gov Abbott installs more razor wire along the Southern border to halt the catastrophic effects of climate change
EAGLE PASS, TX—In a groundbreaking move that has left both environmentalists and immigration advocates scratching their heads, Texas Governor Greg...
Newsom celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 666 people to climate goddess Greta
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day at the capitol by sacrificing six unlucky human beings to...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you’re a Nazi bigot, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities...
AOC horrified that Hamas used gas-powered vehicles to terrorize Israel instead of electric vehicles
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning twist of events, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, known for her passionate advocacy of environmental issues, expressed shock...
Protestor who glued herself to Senator Feinstein can still vote on her behalf
WASHINGTON, DC—A climate change protestor who glued herself to Senator Dianne Feinstein earlier this month can continue voting on her...
VP Harris freezes during speech: media calls it “breathtaking.”
DETROIT—Vice President Kamala Harris froze for almost 30 minutes during a speech at a Detroit manufacturing plant last night, prompting...
BREAKING: Hurricane Monica blows through DC as Hurricane Hilary peters out in California
In a bizarre twist of meteorological fate, the nation has been treated to an unusual double feature – Hurricane Monica...
