BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ
WASHINGTON, DC—Pete Hegseth, clad in full medieval knight regalia, stormed into the Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing with the zeal...
Congress
Crenshaw dyes hair purple to win back ‘Most Revolting Person In DC’ title
WASHINGTON, DC—In the heart of the nation's capital, a title has been passed from one lawmaker to another in a...
BREAKING: D.O.G.E. to replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers
Washington DC—President-elect Donald Trump has announced that the Department of Government Efficiency will replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers starting...
Congress unveils statue of Jamaal Bowman pulling fire alarm in Capitol Rotunda
WASHINGTON, DC—The Congress has unveiled a new statue of outgoing Congressman Jamaal Bowman pulling a fire alarm, commemorating his unique...
BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike...
BREAKING: US border states change name to Taiwan, Ukraine, and Israel to get money from Congress to defend their borders
US—In a bold and bewildering move, four U.S. border states—Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and California—have announced plans to change their...
BREAKING: Congress bans waving American flag in Capitol; allows only Ukrainian flag to be flown
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has unanimously passed a bill making it a federal offense to wave the American flag within the US...
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
BREAKING: Congress works through weekend to finally pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st
Congress has managed to pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st, thanks to the bipartisan efforts of House...
Congress Votes Unanimously: AOC Must Wear “Special” Cap In Hearings Or Interviews
WASHINGTON, DC—As people around the country are worried about a divided government, Congress has done the unbelievable. All 435 members...
