Biden Urges Congress: ‘Make Me President So I Can Finally Fix the Border’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made an unprecedented plea to Congress, urging lawmakers to declare him president so he can...
Congress
BREAKING: Senate border bill secures the US border by sending $100 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate has passed a groundbreaking border security bill aimed at securing the US-Mexico border by sending a whopping...
Following Santos’ expulsion for being a lying money launderer, Congress expels all of Congress for being lying money launderers
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events that left the nation both bewildered and mildly impressed, Congress has collectively expelled...
BREAKING: All charges against George Santos dropped after he identifies as a Cherokee Indian veteran who slept with a Chinese spy
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprising twist that could rival the most intricate plot twists from a spy novel, charges against U.S....
Amid inflation, Millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune
Amid staggering inflation, Millennials have been forced to change their financial habits. Most worrisome is that Millennial contestants on Wheel...
EXCLUSIVE: Mike Johnson won Speakership by promising to ban AOC’s ‘pull my finger’ gag
Washington, D.C. - In a surprising turn of events, newly elected Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has made it...
Americans praise Congress for not doing anything the last 12 days
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has become the darling of the nation for its remarkable feat of doing absolutely nothing in the last...
BREAKING: Congress narrowly averts being fiscally responsible again
US—Democrats helped Kevin McCarthy pass the controversial debt limit deal he made with President Joe Biden that will suspend the...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
Congressional hearing highlights appalling lack of gender equity among crash test dummies
In a shocking and eye-opening Congressional testimony, experts in the field of automotive safety have highlighted the appalling lack of...
