BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination of him
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination attempt on his life. The...
Joe Biden
Biden scrambles to find new VP after hearing about assassination attempt on Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a whirlwind of confusion and panic, President Joe Biden is reportedly scrambling to find a new...
BREAKING: Project 2025 will provide every Trump supporter with laser-shooting velociraptors
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts and citizens alike in a state of euphoric disbelief, the...
BREAKING: Biden says his confusing Zelensky for Putin will not hurt his chances of beating Nixon in November
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a recent press conference, President Joe Biden assured the nation that his recent confusion between Ukrainian...
In order to save democracy we must replace the democratically-nominated candidate with someone no one voted for
In the hallowed tradition of American democracy, where the people's voice is sacrosanct, we face an unprecedented challenge that demands...
White House politely asks enemies to not start WWIII between 4pm and 10am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move aimed at accommodating President* Biden's cognitive awareness schedule, the White House has formally requested that all...
BREAKING: Obama officially cuts off Biden’s adrenochrome supply
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Barack Obama has officially announced that he is cutting off President Joe Biden's adrenochrome supply, leaving the...
Biden wishes Americans a happy ‘Dependence Day’
WASHINGTON, DC--Following on his predecessor Barack Obama's tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a "Happy Dependence Day" this July...
BREAKING: Biden has been informed that he ‘definitely’ wants to stay in the presidential race
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning yet not entirely surprising development, President* Joe Biden has confirmed his unwavering commitment to the 2024...
