BREAKING: Biden outlaws shooting people at grocery stores
Following a mass shooting in Boulder, Colorado Monday, President Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country...
Joe Biden
Secret Service hires Nepali sherpa to carry Biden up and down White House stairs
NEPAL—The United States Secret Service announced today that they have added a Nepali Sherpa named Norbu to the President’s security...
Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind...
Come And Take It—Stairs
Biden and the Democrats are set to introduce common sense stair regulations after it's become clear that they are too...
Biden blames fall on wind from Putin blowing him a kiss from Russia
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden blamed his fall while climbing Air Force One's stairs on Russian President Vladimir Putin blowing him...
White House staff confused about who’s still peeing on the floors after Biden’s dogs were removed
WASHINGTON, DC—White House cleaning staff are flummoxed about who is still peeing all over the floors of the Oval Office...
Biden tells migrants ‘don’t come over’ while he hands out gift bags at the border
BIG BEND, TX–President Joe Biden said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times's George Snuffalufagus on Tuesday that his message...
Biden makes Dr. Rachel Levine all-time Miss America
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has named transgender HHS Assistant Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine the all-time Miss America winner, making it...
BREAKING: Concentration camps are good now
WASHINGTON, DC—A common refrain among democrats during the Trump administration was that the government’s migrant facilities were literal ‘concentration camps’,...
Biden to give his first press conference in the year 4032, shortly after it’s okay to stop wearing masks
WASHINGTON, DC—Media reports confirmed today that President Biden is set to have his first press conference in the year 4032,...
