Have you ever thought about the possibility of getting shot by the police? Like ever? Well, we want to help our readers avoid a sticky situation like that, so here are 7 ways to avoid getting shot by the police:
- Don’t try to kill another person with a knife.
- Call LeBron James for help. He’ll guide you through the process.
- Call your local BLM office for backup.
- Tell cops you’re a ‘mostly’ law-abiding citizen. If it works so well for ‘mostly’ peaceful protestors, why not?
- Tell cops that if they shoot you, they’ll end up like Derek Chauvin. That should put them in their places.
- Ask the cops to shoot you in the legs. Joe Biden’s an expert on this stuff.
- If all else fails, drop on them a nuclear bomb, the likes of which they’ve never seen before. It has a 100% success rate.
Don’t worry, we checked in with LeBron James about our advice and he gave his approval, so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.