Biden HHS giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Health and Human Services Department is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Stolen by Babylon Bee
President Biden promises to solve all the problems caused by whoever is president
WASHINGTON, D.C.-- President Joe Biden promised to solve all the problems caused by whoever's president, marking the first year of...
Biden changes name to Emperor Palbiden, establishes Galactic Empire
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare press conference, President* Biden said that he has officially changed his name to Emperor Palbiden and...
Gov. Newsom named U-Haul’s #1 salesman of 2021
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom is racking up the awards. For the first time this year, Newsom has been named U-Haul’s number...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
New polls show Biden winning nearly every province in China
BEIJING—A new Pew Pew poll shows that Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is winning in nearly every province in China...
BREAKING: Pence’s excellent debate responses fed by covert drone fly
SALT LAKE CITY--Vice President Mike Pence's excellent debate responses were fed to him by a covert drone fly that was...
Biden and Harris form mariachi band to woo Latino voters
After the holding the biggest hispanic concert in history by playing Despacito on his cellphone, according to hispanic political expert...
Vladimir Putin joins Antifa; immediately wins Nobel Peace Prize
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin publicly announced his new membership with Antifa and was immediately recognized as one of the world's...
