BREAKING: Everyone’s mother officially enters Democratic primary to defeat Trump
In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone's mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary...
Year: 2019
CBS to air beloved film ‘Heidi’ instead of ‘toxic masculine’ Super Bowl
In a nod to feminist movements across the world including the popular "#metoo" campaign, CBS has decided that it won't...
Pope Francis slams pro-abortion Catholics for ‘lack of compassion,…cruelty, exaggerated self-praise’
Just kidding. He was talking about Catholic media who criticize pro-abortion Catholics: The outcome of our pastoral work, evangelization and...
Global warming conference cancelled due to -50 wind chill
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Wisconsin as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
New York Assembly to install Aztec-like altar for all child sacrifices to take place
A problem arose after the New York legislature passed a new abortion bill and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed it into...
Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
California’s Governor Gavin Newsom introduces tax on ‘thinking’
California Governor Gavin Newsom proposed his first budget for the state on Friday, and it includes a tax on thinking....
Activists take break from protesting NRA killing innocent children to celebrate abortion bill that will kill innocent children
Several activists in New York who typically protest the National Rifle Association (NRA) for its horrific role in promoting school...
Trump to move to DEFCON 1 after reports of 32 measles cases in Washington
As of Saturday, there have been 32—THIRTY-TWO—cases of measles reported throughout the country prompting President Trump to move to DEFCON...
BREAKING: Two wrongs actually make a right; millions of mothers stunned
In stunning reversal, it has been decided that two wrongs do, in fact, make a right. Following recent incidents in...
