Fetuses self-identifying as pit bulls after Trump signs federal animal cruelty ban into law
In a rare display of political unity, President Trump on Monday signed a bipartisan bill that, for the first time,...
Year: 2019
Local Bernie fan complains about having 23 options for Thanksgiving dessert
A local Bernie Sanders fan is planning on yelling about the evils and inadequacies of capitalism—especially having so many dessert...
Local man who’s never given a dollar to charity mad Jeff Bezos only donated $98.5 million to homeless
A local man who has never donated to any charity is infuriated that Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos didn't...
Queen generously gives Prince Andrew all-expenses paid vacation to special Parisian tunnel
Queen Elizabeth gave Prince Andrew the royal sendoff as he embarked on an all-expenses paid vacation to a special Parisian...
Buttigieg supports NASA program to put man in Uranus
Presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg has endorsed a NASA program to put a man in Uranus. NASA's latest robotic mission to...
Greta Thunberg demands Swalwell’s flogging after public methane release
Climate Change expert Greta Thunberg demanded public flogging over the release of toxic methane gas done by former presidential candidate...
Queen Elizabeth grounds Prince Andrew, takes iPad away for ‘hanging out with that pedophile Epstein again’
Buckingham Palace have announced that Queen Elizabeth has grounded Prince Andrew and taken away his iPad for an entire month...
Chik-Fil-A now offering all you can eat buffet for 30 pieces of silver
In the wake of ditching his religious convictions, the CEO of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, has announced the restaurant will simultaneously...
Bob Iger joins MasterClass for class on ruining beloved movie franchises
Disney chairman-CEO Bob Iger has signed on to the MasterClass digital education service, offering a course in how to ruin beloved movie...
Bernie Sanders says he’ll put AOC in ‘very important’ bartending role in White House
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has a “very, very important role” waiting for her in the White House should fellow Democratic...
