BREAKING: Biden threatens more violence from his supporters if he’s not elected
PITTSBURGH—Joe Biden came out of hiding today to launch a new campaign strategy amid falling poll numbers, threatening more violence...
Month: August 2020
Portland Mayor takes full responsibility for blaming Trump for the problems in his city
PORTLAND, OR—Mayor Ted Wheeler minced no words as he took full responsibility for blaming other people for the problems in...
NBA players join Paralympics after shooting themselves in the foot
Long Live the NBA. Oh wait, the NBA no longer exists. What? Yep. After poking most of their fans right...
BREAKING: Millionaires refuse to play with bouncy ball to protest inequality
MILWAULKEE—Several grown men have refused to play with bouncy balls for millions of dollars to protest inequality. "There is serious...
BREAKING: 17-year-old mostly peacefully shoots 3 Kenosha protesters
KENOSHA, WI--A 17-year-old Illinois minor has been accused of mostly peacefully killing two protesters and injuring another with an AR-15-style rifle in...
The #1 attraction in California this year is Texas
LOS ANGELES—For the second year in a row, the top attraction in the beautiful state of California is Texas. "There's...
Kenosha protesters shocked to win stupid prizes after playing stupid games
KENOSHA, WI—The three Kenosha protesters who were shot by 17-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse were shocked to find that they won stupid...
CNN: Fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires destroy California
(CNN) Hundreds of fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires burned across the state of California in recent days and nearly 250,000...
Thousands of progressives die after playing arsenic drinking game during GOP Convention
US—Thousands of progressives across the country have died from what appears to be a drinking game during the GOP Convention....
Biden rallies erupt again in Minneapolis after murder suspect commits suicide
Rioting and looting Joe Biden rallies once again broke out in Democrat-controlled Minneapolis on Wednesday night after the police were...
