Biden sending 5000 troops to get all Americans trapped inside Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden told Americans stuck in Chicago that the government will bring them back to the U.S. even as it is not sure how...
Year: 2021
BREAKING: Biden surrenders to Nazi Germany too
WASHINGTON, DC—After a successful withdrawal and surrender to Taliban forces in Afghanistan, US President* Joe Biden has unilaterally decided to...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares himself winner in Afghanistan election
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As the new Afghan government is forming, former US Democratic Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg announced himself victorious in the...
Biden orders all rainbow flags flown at half-staff after Taliban cancels UN queer theory classes
WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark Milley was appalled to hear that the Taliban cancelled all...
Biden assures Americans trapped in Afghanistan he won’t send any mean tweets
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden finally promised the 10-15,000 Americans still trapped in Afghanistan that they don't need to worry about...
LeBron slams racist NBA Best Player poll: ‘They voted for Antetokounmpo cuz he’s white’
LOS ANGELES—Lakers superstar LeBron James is crying racism after receiving zero votes in an ESPN offseason poll of NBA executives...
‘Why are you so selfish?’ asks woman demanding others inject themselves with experimental drug to make her feel safe
PITTSBURGH, PA—While on her way to a local school board meeting to force children to wear face masks, local woman...
Hospital CEO wonders where all the nurses went after he fired them for not getting jab
EDGEWOOD, TX—St. Luke's Hospital CEO Jimmy Onenutt is wondering where all the nurses went after he just fired them for...
BREAKING: DC bombing threat says he doesn’t know why there was an FBI paystub in his car
WASHINGTON, DC—The DC bomb threat suspect has surrendered to law enforcement officials peacefully after threatening on a livestream from his...
