BREAKING: Biden rolls out new neck seatbelt mandate
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today a new national mandate for neck seatbelts in all cars for all ages. The...
Year: 2021
Apple shuts down child abuse scan project after only finding pictures of Joe Biden
CUPERTINO, CA—Electronics behemoth Apple has announced it is shutting down a brand new program to scan US phones for child...
BREAKING: Fauci orders drone strike on Rand Paul
WASHINGTON, DC—Escalating his War on Science, America's Doctor and leader of the Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex Anthony Fauci has ordered a drone...
Fauci warns a 3rd booster shot may be necessary for those who haven’t died yet
NEW YORK—America's doctor Anthony Fauci has warned that a third booster shot may be necessary for those who haven't died...
BREAKING: Andrew Cuomo calls for Joe Biden to resign
ALBANY, NY—Just hours after President* Joe Biden called for New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to resign following a report found...
Charges on Cuomo dropped after he agrees to harass at least 50% transwomen from now on
ALBANY, NY–Just hours after President* Joe Biden and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi called for New York Governor Andrew...
Local stores completely sold out of 9mm vaccine passports
SPRINGFIELD—All area stores have completely sold out if their supply of 9mm vaccine passports amid a nation-wide shortage. The shortage...
Vaccine passports are a form of ID and blacks can’t get IDs so vax passports are racist
Ladies and gentlemen, vaccine passports are racist. It's been well established that marginalized peoples cannot, I repeat, CANNOT get driver's...
Democrats call to defund all police except for the ones protecting them
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats called for the defunding of all police except for those police protecting them in a new campaign...
Local Branch Covidian waterboards himself trying to drink vaccine through his mask
US—A local member of the Branch Covidian sect of Fauciism, David Jackaski is in the hospital today after accidentally waterboarding...
