Biden comforts California flood victims with harrowing tale of his overflowing toilet
In a heartwarming display of empathy and solidarity, President Biden visited flood-ravaged areas in California to comfort victims with a...
Year: 2023
BREAKING: Trump Indicted For Making America Great Again
UNITED STATES—The Department of Justice has indicted former President Donald Trump yet again, this time for making America great again...
BREAKING: Hurricane Monica blows through DC as Hurricane Hilary peters out in California
In a bizarre twist of meteorological fate, the nation has been treated to an unusual double feature – Hurricane Monica...
BREAKING: California streets ‘never been cleaner’ after hurricane washes away all the poop and needles
LOS ANGELES—In a curious turn of events that has left residents scratching their heads, the streets of California are reportedly...
Government Reminds Everyone To Back Up Their Computer Hard Drives Just In Case Hurricane Hilary Deletes Their Emails
UNITED STATES—As Hurricane Hilary makes its way into Southern California and the southwestern United States, government officials are warning citizens...
BREAKING: Hawaiians kinda wish a guy would come and toss paper towels at them or something!
In a desperate bid for some much-needed presidential attention, Hawaiians are expressing a heartfelt wish that their Commander-in-Chief, President* Biden,...
BREAKING: Trump Indicted For Not Putting Toilet Seat Down After Leaving Bathroom
UNITED STATES—The Department of Justice has indicted former President Donald Trump for his failure to put down the toilet seat...
BREAKING: Stacey Abrams indicted for ‘subverting election’ just like Trump
ATLANTA—Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams and 18 co-defendants have been indicted on the same counts of breaking a variety of...
Biden promises to help those hit by Hawaiian wildfires by giving another $10 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of global diplomacy and financial allocation, President* Biden has unveiled a groundbreaking plan to address...
Trump Indicted For Assassination Of President William McKinley
UNITED STATES—The Department of Justice has indicted former President Donald Trump for the assassination of President William McKinley on September...
