BREAKING: Eagles win Super Bowl LVII after scoring 6 TDs at 4 am when no one was watching
PHOENIX—The Philadelphia Eagles, along with the rest of the world, thought they had lost Super Bowl LVII when they went...
Year: 2023
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States is experiencing the worst shortage of conspiracy theories in decades as all of them have come true...
Top Predictions for this Year’s Super Bowl
Today is Super Bowl LVII, whatever those numbers mean. I have no clue and neither do you, so stop pretending...
Local retiree searches ‘Google’ on Google to use Google to google something
In today's fast-paced digital world, it's easy to get lost in the sea of information available on the internet. But...
Why Women Need to Stop Pretending to Know Everything
Ladies, it's time to come clean: we don't know everything. Yes, you heard that right. Despite what society has been...
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC--America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about the mental and physical health...
BREAKING: President Biden Utters First Fully Coherent Sentence of His Presidency
UNITED STATES—President Biden broke a record today after uttering his first fully coherent sentence of his presidency. The sentence? “Why...
The Latest Trend in Detox: Eating Dirt
Are you tired of drinking green juice and eating only kale for your detox? Say goodbye to bland and boring...
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
