BREAKING: Congress bans waving American flag in Capitol; allows only Ukrainian flag to be flown
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has unanimously passed a bill making it a federal offense to wave the American flag within the US...
Month: April 2024
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
Chick-Fil-A Introduces “Uncle Bosie’s Bites” & “Corn Pop Poppers”
ATLANTA—Chick-Fil-A has introduced two new menu items that are sure to raise eyebrows: "Uncle Bosie's Bites" and "Corn Pop Poppers."...
2024 Burning Man Festival moves to outside NYC courthouse during Trump hush money trial
NEW YORK—Organizers of Burning Man 2024 have announced that this year's festival will take place on the steps of the...
Harvard Hires Stormy Daniels to Teach Class on Virtue
BOSTON—Harvard University has announced the hiring of adult film star Stormy Daniels to teach a class on virtue. The decision...
This Day in ‘Fiery but Mostly Peaceful’ History: Feds Massacre 76 in Waco Siege
The Waco siege, also known as the Waco massacre, was the fiery but mostly peaceful law enforcement siege of the...
BREAKING: January 6 defendants released after claiming they were ‘just protesting for Gaza’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking twist of events, several January 6 defendants have been released from custody after claiming that they...
Vogue unveils shocking cover featuring Zelensky embracing new wife Mike Johnson
In a surprising turn of events, Vogue has just released its newest cover featuring the unexpected pairing of Ukrainian President...
Zelensky reminds every American to do their taxes so that he will get paid
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky made an urgent plea for every American to make sure and do their taxes so that...
I’d rather have a thermonuclear world war with Biden than world peace under Trump
It has been scientifically proven that a massive nuclear holocaust under the best president ever, President Biden, would be better...
