BREAKING: Biden issues comprehensive list of everyone involved in federal crimes
WASHINGTON, DC—In a hilarious final act before his departure from office, President* Joe Biden on Monday issued a comprehensive list...
Year: 2025
BREAKING: AOC claims she was nearly raped by Trump’s inauguration ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made the audacious claim that she was nearly raped by Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration...
BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit
In a surprising last-minute decision, President Joe Biden has issued preemptive pardons for several individuals he describes as "totally innocent"...
BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has issued an executive order pardoning all federal criminals and transferring their collective sentences to an...
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider
WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump has announced that the Genesius Times will replace CNN as the official White House Fake News provider....
BREAKING: Many ‘totally innocent’ people begging for presidential pardons for the crimes they didn’t commit
WASHINGTON, DC—A parade of individuals, who swear on their mother's honor they've committed no crimes, are now clamoring for presidential...
Trump Hollywood Envoy’s replaces fire-damaged Hollywood sign with “Trump Won”
HOLLYWOOD—In a bold and highly controversial move, Donald Trump's newly appointed Hollywood envoy, consisting of Mel Gibson, Jon Voight, and...
BREAKING: New fake government climate data in line with completely fabricated climate forecast
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of governmental efficiency and creativity, the Department of Fabrication (DoF) has released a new set...
Greta Thunberg’s Global Warming Conference cancelled due to sub-arctic freezing temps
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Michigan as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
In lieu of aid, Kamala enrolls California fire victims in Jelly of the Month Club
SACRAMENTO, CA — In what can only be described as a masterstroke of administrative innovation, Vice President Kamala Harris has...
