New Dr. Sucher: ‘If You’re Born with a Dick, You ARE NOT a Chick’
ABERDEEN, WA—It's hard to imagine after so many Dr. Seuss books being banned for bigotry that this new edition will...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton accuses Simone Biles of colluding with the Russians in Olympic bow-out
TOKYO—Following her inspiring and history-making withdrawal from the Olympic gymnastics final, Simone Biles was shocked to learn former Secretary of...
Lego releases new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK—Toy manufacturer Lego has released a new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president....
Handlers shocked as Biden appears to develop own ideas about presidency
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden’s “strategists” expressed shock and disbelief this morning when Joe Biden woke up with some ideas about how...
Rand Paul installs new height requirement to prevent Fauci from lying to Congress
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) has installed a new height requirement in the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and...
Latin Mass Catholics change their name to ‘Latinx’ to get support from Pope Francis
THE VATICAN—Following a clamp down by Pope Francis on the Latin Mass in the church, traditional Catholics are fighting back....
Ryan Gosling is George Floyd in the new BLM production based on true events
It's sure to win several Oscars. If it doesn't you're racist. You're all racists.
Genesius Times issues apology to China
Much has been said about the apology that John Cena made after he accidentally said that Taiwan was a country....
50 Shades of Communism
Netflix is releasing a new film staring democratic socialists Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: 50 Shades of Communism. The man...
Disney opens new White Guilt Ride where whites can pay $160 to be slaves
VISTA DEL MAL, FL—In a brave move to call attention to systemic racism Disney World is introducing a new ride...
