Klobuchar proposes lighting Barrett on fire ‘to see if she’s a witch’
WASHINGTON DC—Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee used a little-known rule Wednesday to delay the confirmation of Supreme Court nominee...
Googly McMooglyface
DNC replaces 2020 convention with 5 minutes of loud, sustained yelling at images of Trump
After dismal ratings, the Democratic National Committee will do away with their traditional convention in 2020 and instead spend five...
Shaun King demands removal of any image of Jesus that looks as white as he does
NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter activist and part-time freelance clown, Shaun King, has called for the removal of all statues and...
People who demanded more government for months appalled when they actually get it
Millions of people who have spent the last few months begging for more government to protect them from coronavirus have...
Local man pretty sure he ended racism by tweeting ‘white people are the worst’
NEW YORK, NY—Several millennia of racism, slavery, and warfare came to an abrupt end Thursday when local progressive Dickey Le...
Nation’s liberals horrified by low COVID deaths as states reopen
America's progressives were horrified by the fact that states that have lifted COVID-19 lockdown restrictions haven't seen more deaths from...
Biden giving ‘Certified Black’ cards for every campaign donation
Do you want to be black? Have you always thought you were black but you just weren't sure? Well, doubt...
Joe Biden hires the Swedish Chef to help make his speeches more intelligible
After a fallout with former speech writer Jar Jar Binks, Democratic front runner Joe Biden has hired the Swedish Chef as his...
Biden fires his speech writer Jar Jar Binks
Displeased with his speech writing up to this point, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden has fired Jar...
Facebook’s new ‘Care-n’ react sends people directly to concentration camps
ST. LOUIS—Facebook users everywhere, especially those named Karen, are excited about a new feature that allows them to report people...
