Celebrity with dyed hair, nose job, and tattoos encourages fans to ‘just be yourself’
Mayzie Middlebrook is a rising actress and singer in the band Faux Faux. When fans ask her if she has...
Googly McMooglyface
Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him while he was in jail
Chicago— Actor Jussie Smollett, who was recently arrested for filing a false police report, now claims that members of a...
Liberals protest Amazon using materials and wearing clothes they bought on Amazon
U.S.—The nation's liberals are protesting the Internet giant Amazon.com for doing exactly what everyone wants it to do: provide countless...
‘Good morning’ and 10 other workplace phrases that are now sexist, racist, and highly offensive
We all know that sexism and racism is the worst it has ever been—especially in the workplace. If you're anything...
BREAKING: New York declares State of Emergency, erects wall to keep taxpayers from leaving the state
New York, N.Y.—A contingent of New York politicians who celebrated Amazon’s decision to not build their second headquarters in the...
14 tips on convincing anti-vaxxers that they’re really horrible people
With the state of emergency declared in Washington due to an unprecedented outbreak of 40 measles cases, it has become...
EXCLUSIVE: Russian hackers fill Dem primary with utterly despicable people
U.S.—Russian hackers responsible for making Trump president in 2016 are at it again for the 2020 election, again relying on...
STUDY: 67% of employees still trying to escape conversation with chatty coworkers
U.S.—A new study conducted by the CDC has found that almost 70% of all office workers are currently attempting to...
BREAKING: Everyone’s mother officially enters Democratic primary to defeat Trump
In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone's mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary...
Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
