Biden Pardons What Looks Suspiciously Like Hunter Biden In A Turkey Costume
In a stunning display of familial solidarity and culinary confusion, President Joe Biden, in what some witnesses are calling an...
News That Matters
Bringing you only news that matters. Support this important work here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/newsthatmatters
AOC Says She Was ‘Nearly Killed’ by Release of Jan 6 Footage
In a dramatic revelation that sent shockwaves through Capitol Hill, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) recently declared that she was "nearly...
BREAKING: Bin Laden Now Polling Higher Than Biden With Democrats In 12 States
NEW YORK—In an unexpected twist of political sentiments, a recent survey has revealed that Osama bin Laden, the notorious mastermind...
NYC residents beg Xi Jinping to visit so the government would fix their homeless problem too
In an unexpected twist of municipal envy, New York City residents are pleading with Chinese President Xi Jinping to sprinkle...
FBI Shuts Down Investigation Of Eric Adams’s Finances After He Writes ‘Loan Repayment’ On All Checks
NEW YORK—In a shocking turn of events that has left financial investigators baffled, the FBI has abruptly suspended its probe...
Democrats warn that House Speaker who hasn’t made millions on insider trading is threat to democracy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking twist, Democrats are making waves on Capitol Hill as they announce new criteria for...
Biden eases fears of nuclear war by posting ‘Nuke Free Zones’ signs around the country
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has allayed all fears of global thermonuclear war by posting "Nuke Free Zone" signs all over...
REPORT: New Study Finds Men Who Have Taken The Covid Vaccine May Not Be Able To Get Pregnant
San Francisco, CA - In a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a new study has shaken the foundations of biology as we...
BREAKING: Trump Supporter Disguises Himself As Hamas Terrorist To Get FBI To Stop Spying On Him
In a bizarre turn of events, a fervent supporter of former President Donald Trump has hatched an ingenious plan to...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom appoints Dianne Frankenstein to vacant Senate seat
SACRAMENTO—In a stunning move that left many Californians scratching their heads, Governor Gavin Newsom has appointed none other than Dianne...
