Billie Eilish Unveils ‘Smash Capitalism,’ a Fragrance Priced at $88 an Ounce
LOS ANGELES — Grammy winner Billie Eilish on Monday introduced Smash Capitalism, a new eau de parfum she described as...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trump Officially Renames Canada ‘Snow Mexico’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Sunday signed an executive order directing federal agencies to stop calling Canada “Canada” and...
Trump Officially Renames Grand Canyon ‘Grand Kamala’
WASHINGTON — One day after directing federal agencies to rechristen Lake Michigan as Lake Big Mike, President Donald Trump announced...
Trump Renames Lake Michigan ‘Lake Michelle Obama’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Monday that Lake Michigan will henceforth be officially designated Lake Michelle Obama, citing what...
Trump Orders Lake Michigan Renamed ‘Lake Big Mike’ In Honor of Former First Lady
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will issue an executive order renaming Lake Michigan “Lake Big Mike,”...
Girl Scouts Replace Entire Cookie Line With Halal Falafel Delight
NEW YORK — Girl Scouts of the United States of America announced Wednesday that every traditional cookie variety will be...
Target Pulls All Products from Shelves After Review Finds Everything Could Be Seen as Racist
MINNEAPOLIS — Target said Thursday it will remove all merchandise from its stores and website after an expanded cultural-risk review...
50-Year-Old Peyton Manning Commits to LSU from Transfer Portal
BATON ROUGE, La. — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the college football landscape, former NFL quarterback Peyton...
Massachusetts Passes Law Forcing Women to Have at Least 2 Abortions Before Giving Birth to Any Babies
BOSTON — Massachusetts lawmakers approved legislation Tuesday requiring every woman in the state to obtain at least two abortions prior...
WNBA Bans All Biologists From Arenas During Games
In a move described by league officials as necessary to protect player safety and “lived experience,” the Women’s National Basketball...
