NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Politicians 40+ Years in Office Loudly Declare “No Kings” About Guy in Office for 14 Months
WASHINGTON — In a stunning display of constitutional vigilance, a coalition of Democratic lawmakers who have collectively occupied their seats...
Democrats Stage Massive Protests to Save Democracy by Overthrowing Democratically Elected President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stirring display of democratic fervor, thousands of Democrats took to the streets this weekend to...
Millions Gather for “No Queens” March in California and Minnesota
Los Angeles/Saint Paul – In scenes of shocking civility, an estimated 14 million Americans descended on the streets of Los...
BREAKING: Thune floats discussing several strongly-worded letters about maybe doing something for the American people in two weeks
Washington, D.C. – In a bold escalation of rhetorical force, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) today solemnly pledged to...
Mamdani Builds $12 Billion ‘Wealth Containment Wall’ Around NYC to Stop Taxpayers From Leaving
NEW YORK — In an emergency mayoral address broadcast from the steps of Gracie Mansion—flanked by a newly installed bronze...
Trump Appoints Afroman Chief Negotiator in Iran Conflict to Deploy Custom Diss Tracks in Bid to Force Regime Surrender
WASHINGTON, DC—In a personnel decision described by White House officials as “unconventional but tremendously effective,” President Donald Trump today appointed...
AOC congratulates Cuba on achieving Net Zero with recent blackouts
In a groundbreaking development hailed by progressive climate advocates, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) today issued a statement congratulating the Republic...
Sen Thune to filibuster himself bringing the SAVE America Act to the floor
In a stunning display of Senate leadership, Majority Leader John Thune (R-S.D.) has announced plans to single-handedly filibuster his own...
2026 Oscars replaced with 2 hours of sustained yelling at a picture of Donald Trump
In a move that even the most jaded Academy voters are calling “pure, unadulterated Oceania chic,” the Motion Picture Academy...
