Mamdani Builds $12 Billion ‘Wealth Containment Wall’ Around NYC to Stop Taxpayers From Leaving
NEW YORK — In an emergency mayoral address broadcast from the steps of Gracie Mansion—flanked by a newly installed bronze...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trump Appoints Afroman Chief Negotiator in Iran Conflict to Deploy Custom Diss Tracks in Bid to Force Regime Surrender
WASHINGTON, DC—In a personnel decision described by White House officials as “unconventional but tremendously effective,” President Donald Trump today appointed...
AOC congratulates Cuba on achieving Net Zero with recent blackouts
In a groundbreaking development hailed by progressive climate advocates, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) today issued a statement congratulating the Republic...
Sen Thune to filibuster himself bringing the SAVE America Act to the floor
In a stunning display of Senate leadership, Majority Leader John Thune (R-S.D.) has announced plans to single-handedly filibuster his own...
2026 Oscars replaced with 2 hours of sustained yelling at a picture of Donald Trump
In a move that even the most jaded Academy voters are calling “pure, unadulterated Oceania chic,” the Motion Picture Academy...
Protestant quarterback doesn’t throw the ball because his faith alone is enough to win
In a stunning display of doctrinal consistency that left analysts scratching their helmets, Protestant quarterback Caleb Sola of the Reformation...
GOP Offers ‘Hybrid Filibuster’ for SAVE Act Allowing Democrats to Talk Out of Their Mouths and Their Asses
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of intra-party creativity, Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) has quietly persuaded Senate Majority Leader John...
Gov Newsom Bans Iranian Terrorists from Destroying California: ‘Don’t Worry. I Got This’
SACRAMENTO — In a bold move to protect the Golden State's monopoly on high-stakes political theater, Governor Gavin Newsom signed...
Thune Unveils Bold Alternative to Stalled SAVE America Act: The SAVE FACE WHILE SCREWING AMERICA FOREVER Act
WASHINGTON — With the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) America Act now officially stuck in legislative purgatory for the third...
CNN’s This Day in Teen Tourism on Abnormally Warm Weather History: 2004 Madrid Train Massacre
On a crisp yet unseasonably pleasant early spring morning in Madrid, a group of young visitors from various backgrounds decided...
