BREAKING: Melinda Gates will become the 3rd richest man in the world after divorce
SEATTLE—Bill and Melinda Gates have announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage. The split will make Melinda the third...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Shady Arizona election audit officials cover windows with cardboard; eject observers
MARICOPA COUNTY, AZ--As tensions continue to build over allegations of irregularities in the shady audit of the 2020 presidential election...
Every NFL team has selected Joe Biden as their first pick in 2021 NFL Draft
CLEVELAND--Each year there are some big surprises in the NFL Draft but no one was ready for this year when...
VIDEO: Police officer consults LeBron before interfering in a knife attack
WOKETARDIA—This is how it should be done people! Every police officer in the country needs to consult with LeBron James...
CDC announces if you wear two swim suits you can pee in the pool this summer
ATLANTA—US health officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have issued new guidelines for swimming in the...
Biden says it’s not racist to be racist to Tim Scott because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave progressive move, President Joe Biden, who's white, defended people who hurled racial epithets toward America's only...
CDC says you can now peak your head out from your self-imposed prison once a day
NEW YORK (AP) — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) said Tuesday that you can finally peak your...
Bill Gates wins Oscar for best villain in real life
HOLLYWOOD—The 93rd Academy Awards broke a lot of new ground this year including awards for best real-life villain, which went...
Minneapolis PD to start arresting random white people in reparations for George Floyd murder
MINNEAPOLIS—As part of the Derek Chauvin conviction for murdering George Floyd, the Minneapolis Police Department has been ordered to start...
BREAKING: Thin Blue Line supporters loot Walmart after Derek Chauvin conviction
MINNEAPOLIS–Racist supporters Thin Blue Line supporters descended on a local Walmart to loot, pillage, and "burn the motherf****r down" in protest...
