BREAKING: Trump sends parents of toddlers in to negotiate with Portland protesters
PORTLAND—President Donald Trump has had enough of the Portland protesters, making loud noises and destroying stuff. He is sending in...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden would commute Boston Marathon bomber’s sentence so he can join Antifa in Portland
An appellate court has tossed the death sentence and overturned three of the convictions of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Presumptive Democratic...
Clinton: ‘I did not have sexual relations with that plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein. In a...
Fauci: You must give yourself a swirly to prevent catching the coronavirus
Are you prepared to do your part in combating the coronavrius epidemic? The esteemed expert of immunology and overlord of...
Big Tech makes sure you only hear from health experts like Bill Gates, not ignorant frontline doctors
WASHINGTON DC--A video featuring medical professionals from a group called America’s Frontline Doctors, in which they tout the benefits of...
New ‘Corona Karen’ Barbie yells at dolls without masks
Mattel is getting into the COVID-19 political fray with a new "Corona Karen" Barbie doll. The new doll line has...
Local man eaten by plant that grew from mysterious Chinese seeds
PROVO, UT—A local man, Harry S. Truman (no relation to the president), was eaten alive by the plant that grew...
This Day in ‘Mostly Peaceful’ History: Vietnam War Begins
On July 29, 1965, the first 4,000 paratroopers of the 101st Airborne Division arrive in Vietnam, landing at Cam Ranh...
BREAKING: Biden replaces Secret Service detail with super friendly social workers
WASHINGTON DC--A longtime proponent of "redirecting" police funds, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is putting his money where his...
Mayor Lightfoot takes full responsibility for blaming others for Chicago’s problems
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot minced no words as she took full responsibility for blaming other people for Chicago's problems. After her...
