BREAKING: Barrett casts out several demons in SCOTUS confirmation hearing opening statement
WASHINGTON DC—Democrats were shocked as Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett performed an exorcism during her opening statement at her...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Kamala Harris will announce her VP pick this week
The Democratic pick for the next president of the United States, Kamala Harris, will announce her pick for vice president...
Lori Lightfoot reminds Chicagoans that living people can vote too
CHICAGO--Dressed in her favorite Halloween costume, Beetlejuice, Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a special announcement today to remind Chicagoans that living...
Biden touts abortion as ‘mostly peaceful’
SCRANTON, PA—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden defended abortion and its largest US provider Planned Parenthood as "mostly not murder" in...
Taylor Swift announces another bad decision about men
Taylor Swift, the singer who has made a fortune singing about the bad decisions she's made about men, has announce...
BREAKING: Pence’s excellent debate responses fed by covert drone fly
SALT LAKE CITY--Vice President Mike Pence's excellent debate responses were fed to him by a covert drone fly that was...
Pelosi calls for a national day of mourning after Trump recovers from COVID
US--Liberals across the country are donning black and weeping uncontrollably since President Donald Trump was released from the hospital after...
BREAKING: Trump refuses to denounce white blood cell supremacy during COVID bout
BETHESDA, MD--President Trump has refused to denounce his white blood cell supremacy in the fight against the oppressed COVID-19 cells...
Mike Pence gets millions of atheists to pray to God he becomes president
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Mike Pence's theocratic dictatorship is nearly complete. One of the final pieces to the puzzle was getting...
Hillary Clinton to dress up as president for 4th straight Halloween
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Secretary Hillary Clinton has decided she will dress up as president of the United States for the fourth straight...
