Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations
BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
VIDEO: Fauci recommends wearing masks in the shower
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new video, a newly bearded Dr. Anthony Fauci warns of a new threat of spreading COVID while...
CDC: ‘You must trust the science that will be completely different 2 weeks from now’
ATLANTA—The nation's top health expert, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said on Genesius Times's "This Week's BS," that Americans must "trust...
Biden/Harris release new campaign logo
WASHINGTON, DC—There's no rest for the weary. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are just a couple months into their first...
Biden finally gets a large crowd at Carolina car rally
(CNN) President Joe Biden's popularity is soaring as his latest car rally in Charlotte, North Carolina proves. Hundreds of people...
AOC applauds Biden’s gas lines; demands breadlines too
WASHINGTON, DC—Democratic socialist Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) applauded President* Biden on his dramatic push toward a total socialist state like...
BREAKING: FBI apprehends suspect of Colonial Pipeline cyberhack
WASHINGTON, DC—FBI Director Christopher Wray announce today that the FBI has apprehended their primary suspect in the Colonial Pipeline cyberhack,...
Google removes Kyle Rittenhouse doodle after receiving complaints
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Search engine behemoth Google commemorated the Kenosha, WI unrest shooter Kyle Rittenhouse today with a fun doodle illustration...
BREAKING: Biden denies hacking of ‘most secure gas pipeline ever’
WASHINGTON, DC—Reports came in over the weekend of a potential hacking of the Colonial Pipeline, which carried fuel from Mexico...
BREAKING: FBI thoroughly investigating the source of Matt Gaetz’s perfect hair
WASHINGTON, DC--The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been working on a shocking case involving US Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL). The...
