Statue of Liberty gets makeover after New York elects first communist Muslim mayor
NEW YORK—New York City’s iconic Statue of Liberty has been draped in a colossal burka following the election of the...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
OBAMA: ‘Blacks MUST vote for other Blacks unless they disagree with my politics’
Op Ed by Barack H. Obama As we stand on the precipice of another pivotal election—yes, even in off-years like...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Financial influencer boldly predicts prices will either go up or go down following Fed announcement
NEW YORK– In a move that has left investors both dazzled and deeply unenlightened, renowned financial influencer Chad "The Bull...
Pop star who sounds like a duck being brutalized without autotune condemns AI-generated music
LOS ANGELES—Quackella Jolie issued a scathing broadside against AI-generated music Wednesday, mere hours after a viral clip exposed her unfiltered...
Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia
In a stunning reversal of historical migration patterns, thousands of Muslims from war-torn, dictator-ruled, or simply boring countries have begun...
Local man buys $900 3D printer so he can make cheap Chinese junk at home for 10 times the price
In a bold leap toward self-sufficiency, local man Greg Thompson, 38, has unveiled his latest venture: crafting budget-tier Chinese trinkets...
Buy Bernie’s new book ‘How to Get Filthy Rich Fighting Income Inequality’
Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders is on a roll. After making a name for himself decrying capitalism and fighting the super-rich,...
Letitia James Says She Only Committed Mortgage Fraud to Better Know How to Prosecute It When Others Do It
NEW YORK, NY — In a press conference outside the Manhattan courthouse Thursday, New York Attorney General Letitia James defended...
Genesius Times Drops ‘Everyone I Don’t Like is Hitler’ Tops Billfloard Hot 100, Sparks Global Meme Frenzy
Hold onto your memes, folks: satirical news juggernaut Genesius Times has just unleashed their debut single, Everyone I Don’t Like...
