BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Federal judge orders bombs removed from Tesla dealership to be put back and detonated
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has ordered that a cache of bombs, recently removed from a Tesla dealership, be promptly returned...
BREAKING: District Court Judge overrules WWII victory, orders US to give Normandy back to Nazis
District Court Judge Hugh Jassole has declared the United States’ victory in World War II “legally invalid,” ordering the immediate...
BREAKING: District Court Judge overrules US Cold War victory, orders Germany to put the Berlin Wall back up
District Court Judge Hugh Jassole has declared the United States’ victory in the Cold War “null and void,” ordering Germany...
BREAKING: Federal Judge orders Putin to cancel Trump-brokered ceasefire and go back to war
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has issued an extraordinary order demanding that Russian President Vladimir Putin cancel a freshly brokered ceasefire...
POLL: 10% of Americans still believe the crazy conspiracy theory that the CIA didn’t kill Kennedy
In a stunning blow to common sense and decades of well-established tinfoil-hat wisdom, a new poll has revealed that a...
BREAKING: Trump reveals ‘shocking’ JFK files: Iran killed Kennedy using a camel-powered time machine
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump today released long-classified JFK assassination files that allegedly reveal Iran as the mastermind behind the 1963...
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of judges who say he can’t deport them
Trump has responded to a federal district court judge's blocking the deportation of hundreds of Tren de Aragua gang members...
BREAKING: Trump derangement syndrome has mutated into deadlier variant Trump & Elon derangement syndrome
US—Scientists and social commentators alike are sounding the alarm as a new, more virulent strain of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)...
Democrats explain that painting Swastikas everywhere and torching immigrant businesses ‘Isn’t Fascism, It’s *Democratic* Fascism’
SEATTLE–Leading Democrats have unveiled a groundbreaking defense of their latest grassroots initiative: painting swastikas on public buildings and setting fire...
